I am autistic - A glimpse of the truth, By Binyamin Golden.
(Daniel ask me to place this chapter as the first one, in the beginning,
even it was written few years ago).
I am autistic and I see the world much differently than most other human beings.
I see the Adam that is G-d's creation. I see clearly body and soul and their connection with the higher worlds.
All mentally handicapped people are more soul than body, depending on the severity of their handicaps. It is a ridiculous notion that prevails in this world of lies that handicapped
individuals have less understanding of this world and its
dwellers than so called normal people do.
Let's make things quite clear by realizing the true anatomy, physical and spiritual, of all Jewish mentally handicapped Bnei Adam.
We are sent into this world for a reason, as are all of G-d's children.
Our purpose here is manifold, partially of an individual nature
and in part to serve the Klal.
This is a natural notion for those who sincerely follow Hashem's Torah.
The individual purpose is to rectify past sins. This is a very difficult and painful task for unfortunate souls to achieve.
It involves much emotional pain. Handicapped people are 'Goy Ba'aretz'.
Every individual that is autistic, retarded, C.P., etc. is forever being scorned by adults and children. Their lives are lonely and they are constantly treated as inferiors. A mentally handicapped person is a joke to society or a fearful image to be avoided.
We move through life being loved as infants even though we
may be adults.
Most of the time we are resented as a destructive element in the normal parents' lives. All members of the handicapped person's family may feel strong embarrassment when facing the negative reactions of society.
Then there are those parents that cannot cope, and so their handicapped children are given away to not frum families and worse - to goyim. A Jewish soul that is given to a goy suffers undescribable tortures. Even if the gentile family are kind-hearted people and take care of all the child's physical needs,
still the Jewish soul in their hands is doomed to unfathomable misery. Their souls can never find a moment of peace.
It is harder for those unfortunate souls to achieve their tikun because a treif place devoid of kodesh can only bring a Jewish soul to disaster.
I know there are those of our people that do not believe that we are special souls and not just 'special education'. They will probably not believe that what I am stating is true or even that I did actually compose this declaration. To them I say go to your Rabbis and ask if this is possible. If they say yes and your stubbornness prevents you from believing, then go do teshuva and save your soul from returning as an outcast of your world of illusions. We know clearly that this world is only a shadow and will vanish when the light appears.
I am tired of inconsiderate people who are forever finding reasons to prove we are different than they are. To them I say "woe to you." They talk about us in an unfriendly and degrading manner right in our presence. They feel no shame because we are after all retarded and cannot understand, and even if we do understand, we will never tell, and if we do tell, no one will take us seriously. Then there are those people that are not bothered by the fact that what they say to us and about us in our presence and behind our backs, just might be loshon horah (slander). I suppose that they feel that in Shamayim we cannot testify either. Woe to those unfortunate misguided souls.
Families that are sensitive to their special child will certainly be able to tell the world that their special child has a tendency towards Kedusha (holiness). They will attest to the fact that their child is sensitive to what is happening in the house. That there is a special bond and communication with at least one of the parents and maybe one or more of the normal brothers and sisters. To be able to recognize these special attributes of the special individual, the family or teacher must be close to Hashem, living according to his Torah. The normal person's vision is enhanced by intelligence, sharpened by sensitivity but sees the truth only through Torah.
To summarize, we are souls sent to this world to rectify past sins. For Klal Yisroel we are another opportunity to do Chessed (kindness). For the parents and siblings we are a test of their bitachon (faith) and love of Hashem. Remember what I have written and take it to heart for time is running out. In our poor lowly generation, whose bitachon is in material things, we, the mentally handicapped Jewish souls, show to all willing Jews a glimpse of G-d's Truth.